


Like a knife in the woods

by sugarwolf



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Reflection, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9428726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarwolf/pseuds/sugarwolf
Summary: Roza Tabris' life has only continually gotten harder since she joined the wardens. She reflects on her life so far and considers a relationship with Zevran.Past abuse is only mentioned briefly and vaguely.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the first of a few different stories i want to do, not only for my warden but for my other DA ocs. 
> 
> This is a lot of Roza being contemplative and very little actual dialogue.

My foundation rumbles and all my morals crumble  
My father's warnings run through my head  
Your heart's a vine that I've bled trying to climb  
Yeah, you're making a ruin of me  
Try to survive, keep my spirit alive  
But like a knife in the woods Yeah you hunt down the good in me   
\- The Good In Me **Jon Bellion**

  
Zevran reminds Roza of her childhood in ways she couldn't necessarily understand. There was something about the antivan that felt like the home she had left behind. He had a way with words that softened her harsh edges and sweetened her sarcasm. When his lascivious gaze turned thoughtful was when she first felt it. Roza didn't have time to worry about sex or feelings so she ignored it. She had bigger things to worry about like recruiting an army to save Fereldan from this maker forsaken blight.

She was a city elf and that had left her hard. Most girls learn young that you had to be that way. Roza's lesson left her bordering on cruel. She'd been 14 when she first met Aron, an older boy who boasted of being a templar recruit. At 14 she didn't question why he was hanging around the alienage or why he never seemed to be in gear. At 14 she hadn't yet learned to distrust humans. She was raised in a loving home with an open heart and all she could focus on was the attention he paid. She would later learn that he was some disgraced son of a merchant looking to make himself feel better. He buttered her up and used her. Made her feel special only to abuse her in front of his little friends on some sick power trip. It was shortly after this that she'd killed her first man. Roza feared that Aron would take advantage of some other poor girl in the alienage and the thought only fueled her rage.

She may have been raised open hearted but she had been raised strong, with a dagger in hand.

She took her pleasure where she could, in controlled amounts with a healthy sense of self preservation. Sex was sex. She wanted to get out of the alienage so she avoided relationships with those outside of her family. It wasn't worth the time. The only reason she considered the marriage her father arranged was because it would benefit her family. Roza loved her dad and wanted to help him so she thought it'd be fine.

The second time Roza killed a man was when she was 21 and some fereldan lord attacked the alienage amidst her wedding. She lost count after that.

She emerged from that castle a wanted criminal bathed in the blood of humans who regarded her as some disposable "knife ear".

Joining the Grey Wardens, despite the circumstances, had been the answer Roza had been looking for.

Now, months later, as she sits on watch, zevran asleep a few feet away, she lets herself feel the weight of her life.

Zevran has turned out to be more than initial impressions let on. He listens to her carefully and offers counsel instead of his bed. He makes her laugh after a hard fight, brings her back to herself when she feels like she's drowning in the blood around her.   
Roza feels the cold of the deep roads beneath her armor and finds herself wishing she was asleep next to zevran. He feels like the home she left behind and she wants to tale refuge like she did as a girl. She wants to be with him and feel safe as she did sitting with Soris, Shianni, and her father in front of their hearth.

And sitting there in the deep roads, she accepts that she can. She has seen his longing gaze and fought to keep her own face clear of emotion. Roza is done fighting. She moves as quietly as a warrior like her can and gently prods Zevran awake.

"Hmm? What is it? Don't tell me it's another broodmother." Zevran mumbles, voice thick with sleep.

Roza can't help the laugh that slips out. "No. For once it's not a broodmother."

Zevran sighs in relief and sits up, looking at Roza curiously. "Not that i mind being woken up by such a beautiful women," he tilts his head to the side fondly, "but." He lets the question hang in the air unspoken.

"Can i sleep here tonight?" For once Roza doesn't try to control her expression. She imagines she looks her age for once- her features soft, open, and hopeful.

Zevran's responding smile is warm like honey and he shifts to the side beneath his thin blanket. "Of course, Roza."

**Author's Note:**

> Im an artist but not necessarily with my words but i hope this conveys some sort of feeling anyway.


End file.
